Bring 40 lbs of diced venison to a boil. Once it is fully cooked (Rudolph’s nose will turn black when safe to eat), sprinkle with salt, dried peppers, onion powder, garlic powder and talcum powder, then drizzle with hot sauce. Mix everything together in a bowl, and a chemical fire will erupt and burn it to a crisp. Then pitch it and go to a McDonald’s drive “thru” and order some cheeseburgers. Because you get your burgers right after ordering, they really are instant, right?