Instant Cheese­burg­ers

Bring 40 lbs of diced veni­son to a boil. Once it is ful­ly cooked (Rudolph’s nose will turn black when safe to eat), sprin­kle with salt, dried pep­pers, onion pow­der, gar­lic pow­der and tal­cum pow­der, then driz­zle with hot sauce. Mix every­thing togeth­er in a bowl, and a chem­i­cal fire will erupt and burn it to a crisp. Then pitch it and go to a McDonald’s dri­ve “thru” and order some cheese­burg­ers. Because you get your burg­ers right after order­ing, they real­ly are instant, right?

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